Getting dumped is one of the worst feelings in the world – especially
when you don’t see it coming. There is no handbook or guide to getting
dumped, but there are some universal signs that point toward an
impending breakup. And while there is no cure for heart break, knowing
what to look for can help you prepare as much as possible for those four
dreaded words, “We need to talk.” Here are eight signs that your
relationship might be heading straight for “Splitsville.”
1. He Suddenly Gets Phone-PhobiaWhen the two of you first started dating, you practically wore out your cell phone. You called each other first thing in the morning, right after work and before you went to bed at night (not to mention the 5,000 quick little calls during the day just to check in). But now, your guy won’t even call you to tell you when he’s running late. When your calls go straight to his voicemail during his many “guys’ nights out,” you start to worry. If your man’s phone habits change, it could be a sign that he wants out of the relationship. Constantly checking in with you may feel like a chore and serve as a reminder that his carefree, swinging bachelor days are over.
If you think his lack of phone calls might be signaling a breakup, now’s the time to go MIA. Plan a night out on the town or a long weekend away by yourself or with your girlfriends and leave your cell phone at home (okay, how about you just don’t answer it?) Then see if he calls. This sudden break might make him realize how much he misses you, and see how frustrating it is when you’re unavailable. If he doesn’t call, you’ll know that it’s probably time to walk away.
2. You Can’t Make PlansIf your boyfriend can’t even commit to catching a movie next Saturday night, he probably isn’t too keen on committing to you either. When it comes to larger and more long-term investments (like a holiday cruise, your family reunion or that sparkly diamond in the jewelry store window) just saying the word “future” is enough to freak him out. If he won’t pencil you into his date book, it’s a strong sign that the end is near.
3. Your Sex Life Loses SteamIt’s natural for your sex life to slow down after you and your guy have been together for a while and you fall into a comfortable routine. But a sexual hiatus lasting longer than a few weeks or months could be a sign of trouble. It could be that he is simply less interested in sex or it could be that he is less interested in sex with you.
You might think that there’s nothing worse than your boyfriend showing a lack of interest in sex, but what if he suddenly comes home with an uncharacteristically super-charged libido? What if he only wants to indulge in role-playing fantasies, or he would rather look at the back of your head than look you in the eye? Your lovemaking should be about enjoying the connection you share, not just about fulfilling carnal needs. If your sex life has been less than romantic lately, your man could be trying to pretend you are someone else.
Bottom line: If the sexual chemistry between you fizzles out, maybe you’re better off as friends. Don’t kid yourself into thinking that you can enjoy an intimate relationship without passion. Chances are, if he isn’t getting it with you, he’s getting it somewhere else.
4. You Feel Like You’re on Extreme Makeover: Boyfriend EditionSuddenly, your boyfriend goes on a diet. He starts to workout. He cuts his hair or throws out his ratty jeans in favor of clean chinos. You’ve been bugging him to shape up for months (or maybe you’ve always liked him the way he was) so why the big change all of a sudden?
A drastic change in appearance could be a signal that your man is ready to turn over a new leaf in his dating life. It shouldn’t be so surprising, women are notorious for this too. Have you ever cut off or dyed your hair around the time of a big breakup? A sudden interest in personal grooming or physical fitness might mean he is trying to impress someone. Be especially wary if he makes these changes without discussing them with you. It’s one thing if he comes home with a freshly shaved head; it’s another if he shows up at your next date with a fresh “Playa For Life” tattoo. So, if your guy suddenly develops a taste for Thai food or secretly trades in all his rock CDs for some jazz albums, it could be that his mind is on someone else.
5. He NitpicksHe used to think it was cute when you left your unmentionables scattered around the house or ate cookies in bed. Now, if you so much as leave the light on in the bathroom. it’s enough to spark an all-night fight. Everyone knows that, when you tire of someone, your patience with him or her wears thin. You can do one of two things in this situation: Either let his comments slide or call him out on his rude behavior. Whatever you do, don’t bend over backwards to change yourself just to please him. If he acts like being around you is a chore, does he really deserve you anyway?
6. You Get That Sinking FeelingThey don’t call it “female intuition” for nothing. If you feel like things are going wrong between you and your man, chances are there’s a reason you’re getting that vibe. Even if you don’t see any of the other signs of an imminent breakup, you know when your relationship is on the rocks. If you feel like you’re on the verge of getting dumped, try to talk to your guy about it. Ask for a “state of your union address” to clear the air and see where the two of you really stand. You deserve to know how he really feels, even if the truth isn’t what you want to hear. Besides, the agony of over-analyzing and second-guessing yourself is probably far worse.
7. His Body Language is Loud and ClearActions speak louder than words. Check his body language for signs you’re getting dumped. The next time you are standing or sitting somewhere together, look to see if his toes are pointing toward you or away from you. Body language experts agree that if your boyfriend’s toes point toward you while you are out together in public, then his attention is all on you. If his toes are pointed away from you, however, his focus is somewhere else.
Look for these other body language signs as well. How does he hug you? A close, intimate hug with full frontal contact shows comfort and affection. A half-hug, one shoulder hug or other type of pulling away could be a sign of trouble. If your man is uncomfortable around you or looking for distance in your relationship, his body will naturally try to distance itself from yours. And beware of the simultaneous hug and pat on the back. If someone pats you on the back while you are hugging, it is a clear sign of discomfort.
Another tell-tale sign is lying with the eyes. When a person lies, he tends to look up toward the left. This is a sign that he is using the “creative” (right) side of his brain. In other words, he’s telling you a tall tale.
8. He “Needs Space”We’ve all heard (and probably used) this line before. If you need one sure sign that you are getting dumped, this is it. He actually tells you that he does not want to see you. The phrase, “I need space” is a classic exit strategy. People use this line in lieu of an actual breakup because they are trying to avoid a messy confrontation. “Taking a break” is less severe than actually ending things, if he just says that he wants to see other people, he can gradually transition into not seeing you at all.
If you start to notice any of these signs coming from your significant other, it might be time to evaluate your relationship. Try to pinpoint any problems you know you two are having and identify potential solutions other than breaking up. Ask yourself how far you are willing to go to mend your relationship and consider how far your boyfriend is willing to go in return. Then find a time when the two of you can sit down and talk things over. Getting dumped is never easy, but most of us would rather be prepared than blind-sided. If you can read his signs, you will be better equipped for dealing with getting dumped.
Are We Meant To Be?At some point in your relationship, one or both of you have probably thought, "Is it meant to be?" So... what do you think? Read these questions and find out, is your love meant to be? Take our meant-to-be quiz and get closer along the way!
1. He Suddenly Gets Phone-PhobiaWhen the two of you first started dating, you practically wore out your cell phone. You called each other first thing in the morning, right after work and before you went to bed at night (not to mention the 5,000 quick little calls during the day just to check in). But now, your guy won’t even call you to tell you when he’s running late. When your calls go straight to his voicemail during his many “guys’ nights out,” you start to worry. If your man’s phone habits change, it could be a sign that he wants out of the relationship. Constantly checking in with you may feel like a chore and serve as a reminder that his carefree, swinging bachelor days are over.
If you think his lack of phone calls might be signaling a breakup, now’s the time to go MIA. Plan a night out on the town or a long weekend away by yourself or with your girlfriends and leave your cell phone at home (okay, how about you just don’t answer it?) Then see if he calls. This sudden break might make him realize how much he misses you, and see how frustrating it is when you’re unavailable. If he doesn’t call, you’ll know that it’s probably time to walk away.
2. You Can’t Make PlansIf your boyfriend can’t even commit to catching a movie next Saturday night, he probably isn’t too keen on committing to you either. When it comes to larger and more long-term investments (like a holiday cruise, your family reunion or that sparkly diamond in the jewelry store window) just saying the word “future” is enough to freak him out. If he won’t pencil you into his date book, it’s a strong sign that the end is near.
3. Your Sex Life Loses SteamIt’s natural for your sex life to slow down after you and your guy have been together for a while and you fall into a comfortable routine. But a sexual hiatus lasting longer than a few weeks or months could be a sign of trouble. It could be that he is simply less interested in sex or it could be that he is less interested in sex with you.
You might think that there’s nothing worse than your boyfriend showing a lack of interest in sex, but what if he suddenly comes home with an uncharacteristically super-charged libido? What if he only wants to indulge in role-playing fantasies, or he would rather look at the back of your head than look you in the eye? Your lovemaking should be about enjoying the connection you share, not just about fulfilling carnal needs. If your sex life has been less than romantic lately, your man could be trying to pretend you are someone else.
Bottom line: If the sexual chemistry between you fizzles out, maybe you’re better off as friends. Don’t kid yourself into thinking that you can enjoy an intimate relationship without passion. Chances are, if he isn’t getting it with you, he’s getting it somewhere else.
4. You Feel Like You’re on Extreme Makeover: Boyfriend EditionSuddenly, your boyfriend goes on a diet. He starts to workout. He cuts his hair or throws out his ratty jeans in favor of clean chinos. You’ve been bugging him to shape up for months (or maybe you’ve always liked him the way he was) so why the big change all of a sudden?
A drastic change in appearance could be a signal that your man is ready to turn over a new leaf in his dating life. It shouldn’t be so surprising, women are notorious for this too. Have you ever cut off or dyed your hair around the time of a big breakup? A sudden interest in personal grooming or physical fitness might mean he is trying to impress someone. Be especially wary if he makes these changes without discussing them with you. It’s one thing if he comes home with a freshly shaved head; it’s another if he shows up at your next date with a fresh “Playa For Life” tattoo. So, if your guy suddenly develops a taste for Thai food or secretly trades in all his rock CDs for some jazz albums, it could be that his mind is on someone else.
5. He NitpicksHe used to think it was cute when you left your unmentionables scattered around the house or ate cookies in bed. Now, if you so much as leave the light on in the bathroom. it’s enough to spark an all-night fight. Everyone knows that, when you tire of someone, your patience with him or her wears thin. You can do one of two things in this situation: Either let his comments slide or call him out on his rude behavior. Whatever you do, don’t bend over backwards to change yourself just to please him. If he acts like being around you is a chore, does he really deserve you anyway?
6. You Get That Sinking FeelingThey don’t call it “female intuition” for nothing. If you feel like things are going wrong between you and your man, chances are there’s a reason you’re getting that vibe. Even if you don’t see any of the other signs of an imminent breakup, you know when your relationship is on the rocks. If you feel like you’re on the verge of getting dumped, try to talk to your guy about it. Ask for a “state of your union address” to clear the air and see where the two of you really stand. You deserve to know how he really feels, even if the truth isn’t what you want to hear. Besides, the agony of over-analyzing and second-guessing yourself is probably far worse.
7. His Body Language is Loud and ClearActions speak louder than words. Check his body language for signs you’re getting dumped. The next time you are standing or sitting somewhere together, look to see if his toes are pointing toward you or away from you. Body language experts agree that if your boyfriend’s toes point toward you while you are out together in public, then his attention is all on you. If his toes are pointed away from you, however, his focus is somewhere else.
Look for these other body language signs as well. How does he hug you? A close, intimate hug with full frontal contact shows comfort and affection. A half-hug, one shoulder hug or other type of pulling away could be a sign of trouble. If your man is uncomfortable around you or looking for distance in your relationship, his body will naturally try to distance itself from yours. And beware of the simultaneous hug and pat on the back. If someone pats you on the back while you are hugging, it is a clear sign of discomfort.
Another tell-tale sign is lying with the eyes. When a person lies, he tends to look up toward the left. This is a sign that he is using the “creative” (right) side of his brain. In other words, he’s telling you a tall tale.
8. He “Needs Space”We’ve all heard (and probably used) this line before. If you need one sure sign that you are getting dumped, this is it. He actually tells you that he does not want to see you. The phrase, “I need space” is a classic exit strategy. People use this line in lieu of an actual breakup because they are trying to avoid a messy confrontation. “Taking a break” is less severe than actually ending things, if he just says that he wants to see other people, he can gradually transition into not seeing you at all.
If you start to notice any of these signs coming from your significant other, it might be time to evaluate your relationship. Try to pinpoint any problems you know you two are having and identify potential solutions other than breaking up. Ask yourself how far you are willing to go to mend your relationship and consider how far your boyfriend is willing to go in return. Then find a time when the two of you can sit down and talk things over. Getting dumped is never easy, but most of us would rather be prepared than blind-sided. If you can read his signs, you will be better equipped for dealing with getting dumped.
Are We Meant To Be?At some point in your relationship, one or both of you have probably thought, "Is it meant to be?" So... what do you think? Read these questions and find out, is your love meant to be? Take our meant-to-be quiz and get closer along the way!
0 comments:
Post a Comment